Last night the elementary age children of the church performed the Christmas pageant. It is a simple telling of the Christmas story without many frills. There are costumes and a few simple props. There are preschool sheep and first and second grade shepherds. This year all of the girls wanted to be angels and so they were, resulting in a true multitude of heavenly hosts. We had three prophets, three innkeepers, and three wise men who arrived perfectly on cue. Mary had a real baby to hold and Joseph was at her side just observing all the fuss.
Like many things about Christmas, a simple pageant is never simple. There were parents and teenagers crouching behind the organ, in the choir loft, behind the entrances and just beyond the piano to help with wings and calm nervous performers, to help with lines and to gently encourage little ones to go out front and smile. This years' influx of angels required the last minute sewing of ten angel costumes. The halos from years past kept breaking so an alternative had to be found. An innkeeper insisted at rehearsal that he would need to hold the mic like Elvis. Ceasar August wouldn't wear his crown because it looked like a girl crown to him. Mary's sudden onset of a cold required a heavy dose of over the counter medication. One wiseman had the flu so a townsperson, after delivering his line, slipped out the back and around the side, changed into a fancy cape and hat and was transformed into the third wiseman, without ever rehearsing it. A simple telling of the Christmas story, but not a simple few day, few hours in the approach to it.
In this general state of loosely controlled chaos, it is easy to forget the point. The point is not to have the best show ever. I'll leave that to Broadway and Hollywood. The point is to teach the children, through active participation, the story of Christ's birth. Each year one shepherd responds to the line,"What can we bring him?" with the line ,"Brothers we can give him our faith." Each year as I hear a little child's voice say that line, I am reminded that faith in Christ is the point. Despite all of the distractions and chores that lead up to Christmas, the point is not the accomplishment of that work, but faith in Christ.
As the evening of the 25th is now coming to a close and the pageant has been performed, the gifts unwrapped, the beef roasted, carved and eaten with family and friends and it seems as if Christmas is coming to an end, the Christmas season has just begun. Luckily for us Christmas is not over on the 25th of December, but it begins that day. When the maelstrom of shopping and cooking and gatherings subsides the church season is beginning. While the rest of the world is moving on we still have eleven more days to remember and reflect on Christmas. We can take this time to remember that faith in Christ is the point and rest in the peace we find in Christ's love for us.
Merry Christmas,
Michelle
Friday, December 25, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Advent - From Darkness to Light
Advent is a season of moving slowly from darkness into light. Each week a new candle on the Advent wreath is lit and a bit more light is shed. If the church were dark and the Advent wreath the only light, the effect would be that, week by week, we would see more and more of the church. The darkness would recede in stages to reveal the church as it is, for better or for worse.
It is an apt metaphor for the Christian walk. Slowly, in a process that can not be rushed, the nature of Christ is revealed throughout our lives. As we embrace the love of Christ more and more we see who we are, for better and for worse.
It is also a metaphor for church life. The longer you stay, the more you see of a church, for better or for worse. The church is made up of fallible people. People can create knots of contention and throw well aimed spears of rancor, but, likewise, people can create a nest of comfort for the wounded and protection to the weak in spirit. Amazingly, we can do it all at the same time. Our hope and prayer is that the better parts increase and the worse parts decrease.
Just as the light of Christ shines brighter and brighter as time moves forward in each individual life, so then the light of Christ will shine brighter in the aggregate of Christians that is the church. It is not magic. It may be mystical. It is definitely work. We each do not become a beacon of light by wishful thinking, though certainly thinking on those things which are good and holy is extolled in scripture. We do not incrementally increase the light of Christ in the world by being the best read or studying the most though those things add to the conviction and assurance of the the correct path. We increase the light of Christ through our actions and our words. We can pray for forgiveness. We must also forgive. We can seek to see Christ more clearly and in so doing we may be shown the weakest and least desirable in society.
The children of the church are not any more or less a part of this process. Children need to be included in the process. We need to take their hands and lead them through the ups and downs of the church and the Christian life. They need our guidance and honesty. Share the truth of Christ's enduring and patient love with your children. Acknowledge errors and hypocrisy and act to correct them so that our children will be the next step in creating a church full of light. Humility is instrumental in the movement from dark to light. The church is not perfect as no place made up of humans is perfect. The life of a church is a path, often a winding one. The life of a Christian is a path, often a winding one. While it might start with the sudden and abrupt recognition of the light, with patience and humility and steadfastness the light will increase. This advent season let us look for the next candle to shine on our path for us and for our children.
Enjoy this season of moving from the dark into the light,
Michelle
It is an apt metaphor for the Christian walk. Slowly, in a process that can not be rushed, the nature of Christ is revealed throughout our lives. As we embrace the love of Christ more and more we see who we are, for better and for worse.
It is also a metaphor for church life. The longer you stay, the more you see of a church, for better or for worse. The church is made up of fallible people. People can create knots of contention and throw well aimed spears of rancor, but, likewise, people can create a nest of comfort for the wounded and protection to the weak in spirit. Amazingly, we can do it all at the same time. Our hope and prayer is that the better parts increase and the worse parts decrease.
Just as the light of Christ shines brighter and brighter as time moves forward in each individual life, so then the light of Christ will shine brighter in the aggregate of Christians that is the church. It is not magic. It may be mystical. It is definitely work. We each do not become a beacon of light by wishful thinking, though certainly thinking on those things which are good and holy is extolled in scripture. We do not incrementally increase the light of Christ in the world by being the best read or studying the most though those things add to the conviction and assurance of the the correct path. We increase the light of Christ through our actions and our words. We can pray for forgiveness. We must also forgive. We can seek to see Christ more clearly and in so doing we may be shown the weakest and least desirable in society.
The children of the church are not any more or less a part of this process. Children need to be included in the process. We need to take their hands and lead them through the ups and downs of the church and the Christian life. They need our guidance and honesty. Share the truth of Christ's enduring and patient love with your children. Acknowledge errors and hypocrisy and act to correct them so that our children will be the next step in creating a church full of light. Humility is instrumental in the movement from dark to light. The church is not perfect as no place made up of humans is perfect. The life of a church is a path, often a winding one. The life of a Christian is a path, often a winding one. While it might start with the sudden and abrupt recognition of the light, with patience and humility and steadfastness the light will increase. This advent season let us look for the next candle to shine on our path for us and for our children.
Enjoy this season of moving from the dark into the light,
Michelle
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Step by Step by Step
Taking small steps on the way to accomplishing a goal is so boring. Dramatic changes are more satisfying, at the moment. Dramatic changes are just more interesting. Incremental changes are tedious. Making little sustained changes is difficult.
Big things happen through a myriad of little steps. The money guru, Dave Ramsey, has made a career of telling people to take baby steps in correcting their financial problems. He lays them all out step by step by step. You can’t read his book and have a quick fix by morning, but you can have a fix. It will just take a lot of time and discipline and self sacrifice.
Noah built the ark, Moses led the Israelites, Jesus built the kingdom, not through a flurry of dramatic lightening bolts, but through small steps. Board after board after board, step after step after step, person by person by person, they slowly moved to the goal that was set for them. It is not the stuff of a Hollywood movie. Forty years is a long time to wander the desert. Frustration and disillusionment were companions of these slow changes.
Recently, I participated in a week of self awareness. Through different activities suggested by an online group, I examined the impact my life has, day in and day out, on the planet. I looked at how much trash I create and how much energy I use, among other things. I was surprised by the result. I have a tendency to try to tread lightly on the earth. It comes less from a geo-political agenda and more from being raised with the practical values of a midwest farmer’s daughter and an eagle scout camper.
“Always leave a place cleaner than you found it,” was a cardinal tenet in my formative years. Tidy up the public restroom, pick up litter, take out any trash you bring into the wilderness and pick up someone else’s to add to yours on the way out. We are all responsible for doing our part and a little bit more. Leave everything better than you found it.
So I kept track of all of the trash I generated in one day. I didn’t just think about it; I kept it aside for the day so that I could see it all in the end. I saw all of the bits and pieces of paper and plastic that couldn’t be composted and the pieces that couldn’t or wouldn’t be recycled. I was surprised. I knew my first way to skip creating trash was to use a mug for my coffee at work rather than a styrofoam cup, but then I added sugar to my coffee and was left with two little empty packets and a tiny plastic stirrer. During the course of the morning I ate two, ok three, bite sized candy bars and was left with the wrappers. The list went on bit by bit, piece by piece. What I thought was treading lightly was not. I built a little stock pile of trash and most of it was created because it was convenient to the moment.
It is so tempting to think of it as no big deal. It was only two fists full, or maybe a shoebox full of trash. Truthfully, it would have been more if I hadn’t been keeping track which made me more conscientious. While little steps can be the answer to big problems, little steps in the wrong direction can be the cause of big problems. A little bag of trash a day for one person, on one day is not a big deal; a bag of trash a day for eighty years for 300 million people is more of a problem. One unkind statement from a parent can be no big deal; a childhood full of insults is a problem. All of the little pieces add up to something significant.
It so boring, day in and day out, to do the right thing, to make the sacrifice and effort to stop being such a glutton with resources, to stop indulging bad habits. Gluttony is not a popular concept to talk about. It’s popular to practice gluttony, but not so popular to tag it as such. I’ve noticed that people will go to greater lengths to justify their gluttony than they will to correct it. People go to greater lengths to justify all types of unkind, inconsiderate and selfish habits than to correct them. To correct it would take baby steps and those are inconvenient and boring. Those steps require self denial and sacrifice. While we like to tell other people that is what they should do, it’s a bummer to have to practice it ourselves. It’s the whole speck in my brothers eye while there is a plank in my own situation. (If any one of us thinks we don’t suffer from some form of gluttony and self indulgence at the sacrifice of others, then we are suffering from the further sin of arrogance.)
Spiritual growth is incremental. Relationship growth is incremental. Raising children is incremental. Reducing the growth of landfills is incremental. Just about anything worth doing is best done step by sacrificial step. Step by step by step we can make changes in the right direction. Taking the long view is the wiser course, but, boy, is it the harder one.
Peace,
Michelle
Big things happen through a myriad of little steps. The money guru, Dave Ramsey, has made a career of telling people to take baby steps in correcting their financial problems. He lays them all out step by step by step. You can’t read his book and have a quick fix by morning, but you can have a fix. It will just take a lot of time and discipline and self sacrifice.
Noah built the ark, Moses led the Israelites, Jesus built the kingdom, not through a flurry of dramatic lightening bolts, but through small steps. Board after board after board, step after step after step, person by person by person, they slowly moved to the goal that was set for them. It is not the stuff of a Hollywood movie. Forty years is a long time to wander the desert. Frustration and disillusionment were companions of these slow changes.
Recently, I participated in a week of self awareness. Through different activities suggested by an online group, I examined the impact my life has, day in and day out, on the planet. I looked at how much trash I create and how much energy I use, among other things. I was surprised by the result. I have a tendency to try to tread lightly on the earth. It comes less from a geo-political agenda and more from being raised with the practical values of a midwest farmer’s daughter and an eagle scout camper.
“Always leave a place cleaner than you found it,” was a cardinal tenet in my formative years. Tidy up the public restroom, pick up litter, take out any trash you bring into the wilderness and pick up someone else’s to add to yours on the way out. We are all responsible for doing our part and a little bit more. Leave everything better than you found it.
So I kept track of all of the trash I generated in one day. I didn’t just think about it; I kept it aside for the day so that I could see it all in the end. I saw all of the bits and pieces of paper and plastic that couldn’t be composted and the pieces that couldn’t or wouldn’t be recycled. I was surprised. I knew my first way to skip creating trash was to use a mug for my coffee at work rather than a styrofoam cup, but then I added sugar to my coffee and was left with two little empty packets and a tiny plastic stirrer. During the course of the morning I ate two, ok three, bite sized candy bars and was left with the wrappers. The list went on bit by bit, piece by piece. What I thought was treading lightly was not. I built a little stock pile of trash and most of it was created because it was convenient to the moment.
It is so tempting to think of it as no big deal. It was only two fists full, or maybe a shoebox full of trash. Truthfully, it would have been more if I hadn’t been keeping track which made me more conscientious. While little steps can be the answer to big problems, little steps in the wrong direction can be the cause of big problems. A little bag of trash a day for one person, on one day is not a big deal; a bag of trash a day for eighty years for 300 million people is more of a problem. One unkind statement from a parent can be no big deal; a childhood full of insults is a problem. All of the little pieces add up to something significant.
It so boring, day in and day out, to do the right thing, to make the sacrifice and effort to stop being such a glutton with resources, to stop indulging bad habits. Gluttony is not a popular concept to talk about. It’s popular to practice gluttony, but not so popular to tag it as such. I’ve noticed that people will go to greater lengths to justify their gluttony than they will to correct it. People go to greater lengths to justify all types of unkind, inconsiderate and selfish habits than to correct them. To correct it would take baby steps and those are inconvenient and boring. Those steps require self denial and sacrifice. While we like to tell other people that is what they should do, it’s a bummer to have to practice it ourselves. It’s the whole speck in my brothers eye while there is a plank in my own situation. (If any one of us thinks we don’t suffer from some form of gluttony and self indulgence at the sacrifice of others, then we are suffering from the further sin of arrogance.)
Spiritual growth is incremental. Relationship growth is incremental. Raising children is incremental. Reducing the growth of landfills is incremental. Just about anything worth doing is best done step by sacrificial step. Step by step by step we can make changes in the right direction. Taking the long view is the wiser course, but, boy, is it the harder one.
Peace,
Michelle
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
We All Need a Little Help
I am a person who should own a GPS. It's not that I travel much, but when I do I am confident that I know how to get wherever I am going, even if I don't know how to get there. It is not at all logical. I just think I can do it based on instinct and a sole, good experience.
When I was in college my friend Charlotte and I drove to Virgina. On the way we detoured to see a mural in Columbia, South Carolina. Charlotte was an art major. She had seen this mural in an art catalogue and deemed it necessary to further our well rounded education. We called the artist; he gave us directions; we found it. Fast forward about 6 years, my husband and I were traveling to Tennessee and as we approached Columbia I decided he should see this mural. Through memories I didn't know I had, I directed him from the interstate to the mural in downtown Columbia. We only had to back track one block before we found it. I was very pleased with my sense of direction.
Since that one brilliant day of navigation, part of me believes I am the next Marco Polo, but I'm not. The truth is, I can't find the exit at the mall. I have to rely on my children to get through the department stores and back to the right parking lot. Though I feel confident, I still need some help navigating. I can get to the general vicinity of diocesan offices in Orlando, but not exactly to the building.
As I was wandering around downtown Orlando a few months ago, I was reminded that having asked for directions might have been a good idea. Consulting a map, if I had one with me, might have helped. Calling my brother, who lives in Orlando, would have been a good option if my cell phone was not in Lakeland with my son. A GPS would have been great. Last week when I went to Orlando, I had directions from google map. It helped, a lot. Slowly I'm learning.
This is a lot like raising children. If you think you know it all, you are going to miss the mark. Raising children requires more than a parent's instincts. Instincts help get you in the general area, but sometimes you need more information. Friends, family members, the support of the church and prayer should inform all of us in the decisions we make in raising kids. Gathering all of that information together, sifting through it and then deciding on the right path is the work of making good decisions for a family. There is no GPS of childcare, but there are books, teachings and supportive networks to help us discover the best path. It takes some work and the humility to admit we can't do it all by instinct.
Consider the path you are taking to raise your children. Don't wing it. Invest time, prayer and thoughtfulness in your decisions. Once that foundation is laid you can trust your instincts to carry you further.
Blessings,
Michelle
When I was in college my friend Charlotte and I drove to Virgina. On the way we detoured to see a mural in Columbia, South Carolina. Charlotte was an art major. She had seen this mural in an art catalogue and deemed it necessary to further our well rounded education. We called the artist; he gave us directions; we found it. Fast forward about 6 years, my husband and I were traveling to Tennessee and as we approached Columbia I decided he should see this mural. Through memories I didn't know I had, I directed him from the interstate to the mural in downtown Columbia. We only had to back track one block before we found it. I was very pleased with my sense of direction.
Since that one brilliant day of navigation, part of me believes I am the next Marco Polo, but I'm not. The truth is, I can't find the exit at the mall. I have to rely on my children to get through the department stores and back to the right parking lot. Though I feel confident, I still need some help navigating. I can get to the general vicinity of diocesan offices in Orlando, but not exactly to the building.
As I was wandering around downtown Orlando a few months ago, I was reminded that having asked for directions might have been a good idea. Consulting a map, if I had one with me, might have helped. Calling my brother, who lives in Orlando, would have been a good option if my cell phone was not in Lakeland with my son. A GPS would have been great. Last week when I went to Orlando, I had directions from google map. It helped, a lot. Slowly I'm learning.
This is a lot like raising children. If you think you know it all, you are going to miss the mark. Raising children requires more than a parent's instincts. Instincts help get you in the general area, but sometimes you need more information. Friends, family members, the support of the church and prayer should inform all of us in the decisions we make in raising kids. Gathering all of that information together, sifting through it and then deciding on the right path is the work of making good decisions for a family. There is no GPS of childcare, but there are books, teachings and supportive networks to help us discover the best path. It takes some work and the humility to admit we can't do it all by instinct.
Consider the path you are taking to raise your children. Don't wing it. Invest time, prayer and thoughtfulness in your decisions. Once that foundation is laid you can trust your instincts to carry you further.
Blessings,
Michelle
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Reality is Messy
We adopted a puppy. If you have never adopted a puppy then that last sentence invoked thoughts of puppies as seen on Hallmark cards and dog food commercials. If you have adopted a puppy then you are now having flashes of overturned trash cans, chewed up everything, toilet paper dragged throughout the house and whining to go in and whining to go out and whining to go in. There is the idea of a puppy and then there is the reality of a puppy. If you haven't had a puppy, you love it, in your mind's eye, immediately because it is a puppy. If you have had a puppy you know you end up loving it despite it being a puppy.
Having a child and having a pet are not the same thing however, there are some similarities. The idea of a baby is all softness and beatific smiles. The reality of a baby is a lot of hard, thankless work. Puppies turn into sedate dogs in a year or so, or so I have heard. A baby is just the beginning of a long, twisting journey. A journey that just when you think you have gotten the hang of it makes a ninety degree turn requiring you to figure it out again. Diapers turn into training pants and training pants turn into big boy pants and big boy pants turn into $90 jeans. (Thankfully, at that point you can decline.)
Our journey as a parent is not so different from our spiritual journey. We figure one step out just in time to take another step, quite possibly in a different direction. Just as it wouldn't be wise to treat your teenager like a baby. No sippy cups in middle school. It isn't reasonable to expect your life in Christ to contiue in the same rut. Jesus often tipped the tables in the temple, metaphorically, with his followers. Don't seek wealth for wealth's sake. Care for the weak. Break the rules if it means comforting those in need of comfort. This is not the stuff of predicability.
Those who think they can have a puppy like the one in the Hallmark card, or keep a child always in his bouncy seat or force Jesus into a perfectly understood and predictable box are in for a surprise. That imagined tidiness isn't real. The tiring, frustrating, messy endeavors are the real ones. The reward for a real puppy is a loyal, if irritating, friend. The reward for a child allowed to grow and change is a family of strong individuals (I'm hoping). The reward for an ever changing spiritual adventure is a deeper walk with Christ.
Embrace the hard work of life and the changes that are coming just around the corner. They enrich our souls even if it doesn't feel like at the time.
Still, think twice before getting puppy,
Michelle
Having a child and having a pet are not the same thing however, there are some similarities. The idea of a baby is all softness and beatific smiles. The reality of a baby is a lot of hard, thankless work. Puppies turn into sedate dogs in a year or so, or so I have heard. A baby is just the beginning of a long, twisting journey. A journey that just when you think you have gotten the hang of it makes a ninety degree turn requiring you to figure it out again. Diapers turn into training pants and training pants turn into big boy pants and big boy pants turn into $90 jeans. (Thankfully, at that point you can decline.)
Our journey as a parent is not so different from our spiritual journey. We figure one step out just in time to take another step, quite possibly in a different direction. Just as it wouldn't be wise to treat your teenager like a baby. No sippy cups in middle school. It isn't reasonable to expect your life in Christ to contiue in the same rut. Jesus often tipped the tables in the temple, metaphorically, with his followers. Don't seek wealth for wealth's sake. Care for the weak. Break the rules if it means comforting those in need of comfort. This is not the stuff of predicability.
Those who think they can have a puppy like the one in the Hallmark card, or keep a child always in his bouncy seat or force Jesus into a perfectly understood and predictable box are in for a surprise. That imagined tidiness isn't real. The tiring, frustrating, messy endeavors are the real ones. The reward for a real puppy is a loyal, if irritating, friend. The reward for a child allowed to grow and change is a family of strong individuals (I'm hoping). The reward for an ever changing spiritual adventure is a deeper walk with Christ.
Embrace the hard work of life and the changes that are coming just around the corner. They enrich our souls even if it doesn't feel like at the time.
Still, think twice before getting puppy,
Michelle
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Humility is Hard
Teaching children humility is possibly the trickiest part of raising a child in the likeness of Christ. This week being Holy Week we are barraged by many images of a humble Christ. He is degraded, mocked left to die by those who had followed, benefited from and sworn allegiance to him. In the depths of this his sacrifice is real and love continuous. He is not found reminding the disciples of his miracles he is not found reminding the people of the feeding of their bodies and souls on the edge of the Sea of Galilee instead he humbly takes on the ultimate sacrifice without speeches or fanfare. Only a few are left at his feet when on Good Friday he takes his last breath on the cross. That is humility.
While many of the virtues we, as Christians, try to instill in our children have a common touchstone with the virtues taught by every good kindergarten teacher, humility is different. Those who choose to be outside the faith of Christ teach their children not to steal, not to lie, not to hurt other people, just as we do. Humility does not fall into that same category, at least not in America. Humility is vastly different.
In America, and perhaps everywhere, self promotion is the key. Minimize your faults and maximize your accomplishments. There is an old Country and Western song with the refrain, “It's hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way.” It makes me laugh when I think of it, but it's not so funny when you see such arrogance at work. It's everywhere. It's at home, it's at school and it's in the church. Who knows the most, who does the most, who has the most, who works hardest or longest or says “yes” the most often. None of these things are the down fall of humility. It's good to be good at something. It's the self-congratulatory stance, making sure someone knows “inadvertently” or blatantly of our virtuous acts, that undercuts humility. The problem is not in working hard, I think hard work is good for everyone. The problem is dwelling on the work and wallowing in the praise, all the while forgetting our sins, forgetting the many gifts we have been given quite undeservedly.
No matter how great you are, you pale in comparison to Christ. No matter how great you are, if you focus on your abilities and accomplishments you are directing the praise to yourself and not to Christ. Further, you are failing to serve others in humility as Christ directs. If you are busy thinking of your greatness, you might just pass the man on the road to Jericho and fail to stop and help.
Lecturing children on humility won't work. Modeling humility is the only chance. Teaching children that they are not the only people in the universe, that their feelings are not the only feelings that count, that their moment to moment comfort is not the focus, teaching them to serve others without the need for a payback or notice or thanks, that is a start. If we look very hard and I mean very hard, we as parents can find some examples of people who work hard and don't demand admiration or thanks or even notice. Humility goes hand in hand with thankfulness, thankfulness for the work, care and love of others. Thankfulness for the many gifts given to us will further move us on the path of humility. If we can open our eyes and and then lead our children to open their eyes to the few remaining humble servants in our world, we can set them on their way. They aren't going to learn it by watching TV, or hanging out with their friends or in school. It is up to us. Talk about it. Point it out when you see it. Model it. Pray for it.
Have happy and humble Easter,
Michelle
While many of the virtues we, as Christians, try to instill in our children have a common touchstone with the virtues taught by every good kindergarten teacher, humility is different. Those who choose to be outside the faith of Christ teach their children not to steal, not to lie, not to hurt other people, just as we do. Humility does not fall into that same category, at least not in America. Humility is vastly different.
In America, and perhaps everywhere, self promotion is the key. Minimize your faults and maximize your accomplishments. There is an old Country and Western song with the refrain, “It's hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way.” It makes me laugh when I think of it, but it's not so funny when you see such arrogance at work. It's everywhere. It's at home, it's at school and it's in the church. Who knows the most, who does the most, who has the most, who works hardest or longest or says “yes” the most often. None of these things are the down fall of humility. It's good to be good at something. It's the self-congratulatory stance, making sure someone knows “inadvertently” or blatantly of our virtuous acts, that undercuts humility. The problem is not in working hard, I think hard work is good for everyone. The problem is dwelling on the work and wallowing in the praise, all the while forgetting our sins, forgetting the many gifts we have been given quite undeservedly.
No matter how great you are, you pale in comparison to Christ. No matter how great you are, if you focus on your abilities and accomplishments you are directing the praise to yourself and not to Christ. Further, you are failing to serve others in humility as Christ directs. If you are busy thinking of your greatness, you might just pass the man on the road to Jericho and fail to stop and help.
Lecturing children on humility won't work. Modeling humility is the only chance. Teaching children that they are not the only people in the universe, that their feelings are not the only feelings that count, that their moment to moment comfort is not the focus, teaching them to serve others without the need for a payback or notice or thanks, that is a start. If we look very hard and I mean very hard, we as parents can find some examples of people who work hard and don't demand admiration or thanks or even notice. Humility goes hand in hand with thankfulness, thankfulness for the work, care and love of others. Thankfulness for the many gifts given to us will further move us on the path of humility. If we can open our eyes and and then lead our children to open their eyes to the few remaining humble servants in our world, we can set them on their way. They aren't going to learn it by watching TV, or hanging out with their friends or in school. It is up to us. Talk about it. Point it out when you see it. Model it. Pray for it.
Have happy and humble Easter,
Michelle
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Lent
We are all so busy. It seems like it is a contest to see who is the busiest. We work and we clean and we cook. We feed the dog and the cats and the hamster and the chickens and the kids, hopefully not in that order. We volunteer and we go to church, school conferences, theater practice, 4-H, piano lessons, cello lessons, french horn lessons, science fair, history fair, e-team, math counts, acolyte, AV helper, youth group, kids' club and youth ensemble. Next week we start it all again, most of it the same, some of it different, but it all adds up to a lot. Some people have two jobs, some work three. Some go to school and work and volunteer and do all of the rest. We as a culture just can't say, "Stop". Our self image, our sense of importance is wrapped up in being busy. People are impressed if we are really, really busy. People talk about how busy they are, how much they get done, as if there is a big tally sheet in the sky with a running total for all to see and compete.
Lent is a time to say, "Stop". Being so busy, even if it is helping our kids and spouse, if we really exam it, is about us. We are the hero in our own movie. The movie called SuperMom or SuperDad or Superprovider or whatever we are trying to prove. We can't stop everything, but we can slow down. There are things in our lives that are big time-wasters. Watching television, surfing the internet, talking on the phone, shopping just for stuff. If we eliminate some of those, or a few of those, or one of those, we might have time for something more important.
Sure we need to shop for food, but what if we fasted from Wal-Mart and Target for Lent. What if we made ourselves slow down enough to read to our children every single night of Lent. (Reading aloud to children until they are about 10 years old is the single most important thing a parent can do to improve a child's academic success. Fancy videos and computer games can not give your children what reading aloud can, time with you.) There are great books for reading out loud, books the whole family will like. (The teens will roll their eyes but they can't help it. It's a teen condition. Just keep reading. They like it too.) What if everyone sat together to eat with the TV turned off, a couple times a week. It doesn't have to be a Norman Rockwell dinner. Grilled cheese together is better than Osso Buco with the family dispersed.
Lent is traditionally a time to simplify life, to make sacrifices and to take on a beneficial habit. Being with your children has to fall into that category; give up CSI Criminal Intent, take on an out loud reading of Charlotte's Web. They won't be little long. There will be time later to be super human. When your children are little and at home that is the time to be a mere mortal and to be proud that you have the time to read, to snuggle, to listen to long, long stories which have no point. You won't win the "I am the Busiest Person on the Planet" award, but you and your children will be the better for it. Everyone else will be too busy boasting about at their own score to even notice.
We are to love our children as God, the father, loves us, with sacrificial love. We, as parents, may have to give up our image of ourselves as doers in order to provide the love and care our children need and want. After all, I don't think God ever said," I'm busy running the universe here, I don't really have time for you right now." We don't want to send that message to our kids.
Have a simple Lent,
Michelle
Lent is a time to say, "Stop". Being so busy, even if it is helping our kids and spouse, if we really exam it, is about us. We are the hero in our own movie. The movie called SuperMom or SuperDad or Superprovider or whatever we are trying to prove. We can't stop everything, but we can slow down. There are things in our lives that are big time-wasters. Watching television, surfing the internet, talking on the phone, shopping just for stuff. If we eliminate some of those, or a few of those, or one of those, we might have time for something more important.
Sure we need to shop for food, but what if we fasted from Wal-Mart and Target for Lent. What if we made ourselves slow down enough to read to our children every single night of Lent. (Reading aloud to children until they are about 10 years old is the single most important thing a parent can do to improve a child's academic success. Fancy videos and computer games can not give your children what reading aloud can, time with you.) There are great books for reading out loud, books the whole family will like. (The teens will roll their eyes but they can't help it. It's a teen condition. Just keep reading. They like it too.) What if everyone sat together to eat with the TV turned off, a couple times a week. It doesn't have to be a Norman Rockwell dinner. Grilled cheese together is better than Osso Buco with the family dispersed.
Lent is traditionally a time to simplify life, to make sacrifices and to take on a beneficial habit. Being with your children has to fall into that category; give up CSI Criminal Intent, take on an out loud reading of Charlotte's Web. They won't be little long. There will be time later to be super human. When your children are little and at home that is the time to be a mere mortal and to be proud that you have the time to read, to snuggle, to listen to long, long stories which have no point. You won't win the "I am the Busiest Person on the Planet" award, but you and your children will be the better for it. Everyone else will be too busy boasting about at their own score to even notice.
We are to love our children as God, the father, loves us, with sacrificial love. We, as parents, may have to give up our image of ourselves as doers in order to provide the love and care our children need and want. After all, I don't think God ever said," I'm busy running the universe here, I don't really have time for you right now." We don't want to send that message to our kids.
Have a simple Lent,
Michelle
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Jesus and the Super Bowl
It is Super Bowl Sunday. In a few hours I will be hosting a Super Bowl party even though I didn't know that the cardinals were from Arizona until today. (For some reason I thought they were from St. Louis. Wrong sport, evidently). The party I am hosting is for the youth group. I expect thirty teenagers to arrive a little before six and not leave until some time around ten. That's a lot of football.
Since I don't care one bit about the outcome of the game; I can't name one single player; and when I was buying decorations, I had to go with generic football green because I don't even know the team colors, one might ask, "Why host a party"? Why not , say, go to the library instead, maybe do some laundry, prepare my taxes, anything more interesting than watching five hours of football. The simple answer is, I was pretty much told to have the party. When i mentioned it to the kids they were excited. Evidently, it is a youth group tradition.
I am having the party because the kids love it. More kids will come to this event than any other this year, aside from a lock-in. Where is Jesus in this event? We will pray before we eat, but only a third, at best, will be paying attention. There will not be any exegesis on the bible nor will there be an evangelism message at half time. (We are doing youth group stupid human tricks at half time. One girl can make her tongue look like a "W", another can twist her arm around like a broken Barbie and I'm sure we will have the Nazi muffin joke ...again, but we laugh at it every time).
What there will be is another step toward community. There will be a step toward kindness and friendship. A step towards acceptance. Jesus didn't just preach to his disciples. He was with them day and night for three years. There isn't a substitute for time spent together. It builds a bond of trust. Incrementally, the kids learn to trust the people who care enough to spend time with them, doing the things that kids want to do, listening to jokes, eating hot dogs and chips, hanging out and watching lousy football.
So I will watch the game and eat the junk food and laugh at the silly jokes not because I love football, not because I even like football, but because I love the kids and it's good to hang out with them.
Go team!
Michelle
Since I don't care one bit about the outcome of the game; I can't name one single player; and when I was buying decorations, I had to go with generic football green because I don't even know the team colors, one might ask, "Why host a party"? Why not , say, go to the library instead, maybe do some laundry, prepare my taxes, anything more interesting than watching five hours of football. The simple answer is, I was pretty much told to have the party. When i mentioned it to the kids they were excited. Evidently, it is a youth group tradition.
I am having the party because the kids love it. More kids will come to this event than any other this year, aside from a lock-in. Where is Jesus in this event? We will pray before we eat, but only a third, at best, will be paying attention. There will not be any exegesis on the bible nor will there be an evangelism message at half time. (We are doing youth group stupid human tricks at half time. One girl can make her tongue look like a "W", another can twist her arm around like a broken Barbie and I'm sure we will have the Nazi muffin joke ...again, but we laugh at it every time).
What there will be is another step toward community. There will be a step toward kindness and friendship. A step towards acceptance. Jesus didn't just preach to his disciples. He was with them day and night for three years. There isn't a substitute for time spent together. It builds a bond of trust. Incrementally, the kids learn to trust the people who care enough to spend time with them, doing the things that kids want to do, listening to jokes, eating hot dogs and chips, hanging out and watching lousy football.
So I will watch the game and eat the junk food and laugh at the silly jokes not because I love football, not because I even like football, but because I love the kids and it's good to hang out with them.
Go team!
Michelle
Thursday, January 01, 2009
The Eternal Quest
Our family turned a corner this year. We bought a television. After eighteen and half years of marriage, my husband and I made our first television purchase. Don't get me wrong, we've owned televisions, but they were always hand me down TV's. Every few years, friends or family members, who thought that an out dated television was better than no television, would show up with a freebie TV for us. We bought a DVD player and signed up for Netflix. We then, on occasion, watched a movie. We even went so far as to buy an antenna resulting in, count them, five channels. Our children were quick to remind us that two of those five channels were public television, so they barely even counted as television. To add to this change, for the first time ever we now have cable. Now our world is open to 7 million channels or something like that. It's dizzying.
Friends, who have known us for years and years, mock our general ineptitude with a remote control. Last night, on New Year's Eve, we missed the ball dropping in Times' Square because I couldn't figure out how to get out of DVD mode and into cable TV mode swiftly enough. I am stunned at how irritating commercial interruptions are, not to mention, how long they are. I've started having a book handy, so I can read during the 5 and 7 minute commercial breaks. All of the great riches of entertainment that I secretly believed I was missing all those years seem to not really exist. I mean I have 7 billion channels and more often than not there is nothing I want to see. I have heard other people say this, of course, but I didn't believe them.
Isn't that just like me. I think I know what I want, but, it turns out, that wasn't really what I wanted at all. It seems to be engineered into us, to want what we don't have, to strive for what we don't need and when we attain that thing, to be surprised that it doesn't fill the need we feel we have. Philosophers and theologians have decried for centuries that the need in each of us can be filled with an honest connection with the creator of all things, but, being who we are, we have to try a few other things first . We have to be certain those easier things wont work as well at filling the need within our souls. At last, we turn from the material to the eternal, from the easy path to the more difficult path. A path that is a long journey rather than a quick fix.
So this new year, I will continue to try to travel the road less traveled. I will still take a few detours here and there; I know that much about myself. One of them will most certainly be staring at a television with an amazingly clear picture and 7 trillion channels. You never know something great might just come on, but when it doesn't perhaps I will remember where I should be looking.
Peace in the New Year,
Michelle
Friends, who have known us for years and years, mock our general ineptitude with a remote control. Last night, on New Year's Eve, we missed the ball dropping in Times' Square because I couldn't figure out how to get out of DVD mode and into cable TV mode swiftly enough. I am stunned at how irritating commercial interruptions are, not to mention, how long they are. I've started having a book handy, so I can read during the 5 and 7 minute commercial breaks. All of the great riches of entertainment that I secretly believed I was missing all those years seem to not really exist. I mean I have 7 billion channels and more often than not there is nothing I want to see. I have heard other people say this, of course, but I didn't believe them.
Isn't that just like me. I think I know what I want, but, it turns out, that wasn't really what I wanted at all. It seems to be engineered into us, to want what we don't have, to strive for what we don't need and when we attain that thing, to be surprised that it doesn't fill the need we feel we have. Philosophers and theologians have decried for centuries that the need in each of us can be filled with an honest connection with the creator of all things, but, being who we are, we have to try a few other things first . We have to be certain those easier things wont work as well at filling the need within our souls. At last, we turn from the material to the eternal, from the easy path to the more difficult path. A path that is a long journey rather than a quick fix.
So this new year, I will continue to try to travel the road less traveled. I will still take a few detours here and there; I know that much about myself. One of them will most certainly be staring at a television with an amazingly clear picture and 7 trillion channels. You never know something great might just come on, but when it doesn't perhaps I will remember where I should be looking.
Peace in the New Year,
Michelle
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)