Today, Christmas morning dawned and my family was not together. My oldest child is in the hospital with a serious injury. Yesterday, Christmas eve, I shuttled back and forth from the church to the hospital. At three in the afternoon my husband was at the hospital so that front was covered. The pageant was on the horizon. I decided that it would be harder to explain what needed to be done to get the pageant underway than it was to just show up and do it. I rushed home, threw on something red and went to the church for the pageant. Once I was at the church, I felt surrounded by love and support; everyone was so willing to provide assistance. It was a warm, comfortable place to be for a couple hours. The children were excited and happy and the parents were kind. The generosity of my friends and family at the church was a balm to my very worried soul.
It is sometimes hard for me to accept help. Last night I tried to hold tight to my responsibilities, but I realized, once the children were out of their costumes and back with their parents, that I needed to accept the gift my friends had given me, the freedom to go right back to the hospital and sit with my boy. It was a wonderful and generous gift, not many people want to sort and fold costumes, store risers, remove masking tape from the floor, or serve sandwiches on Christmas eve, but that is what my friends, my brothers and sisters in Christ did. I don’t know who did most of it, but I thank all of them, known and unknown.
Now that our son is being discharged this afternoon, albeit with many, many restrictions and conditions, I again feel thankful for God’s many blessings on this Christmas day. We will go home and be together and I will now let down my guard and weep and sleep and feel blessed to be physically surrounded by my immediate family and spiritually surrounded by my church family.
Merry Christmas,
Michelle
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Monday, December 06, 2010
Advent - Preparing your Children
Take your children to Sunday school. For 45 minutes each week your children can have a free lesson on the love of God and the history of the our faith tradition. They will play games and paint and glue. They will decorate cookies and make smoothies. They will dig in a sandbox and use more glitter than is necessary. As parents all you have to do is get them up, feed them breakfast and bring them to church. (You have to feed them breakfast no matter if you come to church or not so really it just means getting going on Sunday morning.) There are classes for adults, but if no adult classes catch your eye there is coffee and the newspaper.
Here at our church we now have Starbucks coffee, with all of the fixings - sugar, sweeteners, half and half, skim milk and flavorings. There are comfortable chairs in a lovely alcove just outside the children’s area where a parent can alight to relax or talk with other parents while their children are inside learning about the love of God. Soon we will have several Sunday papers to read as well.
Some children and teens come to Sunday school nearly every week. They don’t want to come every week, but their parents bring them anyway. It isn’t a child’s decision. It is a parent’s decision. Whether a child is raised attending church and Sunday school is the responsibility of the parents, like vitamins and potty training, not appreciated by the child at the time, but important none the less.
Parents should not abdicate their responsibility to whining, complaining children or sleepy, insolent teenagers. Teenagers are legendary for making bad choices and ill considered decisions. Don’t leave it up to them to go or not to go. Parents often make children do things they don’t want to do, learn to swim, bath, eat vegetables, do homework. Sunday school isn’t as bad as any of those things. Once they get there they will have fun most of the time and probably get some kind of unhealthy snack. They need to go to church and Sunday school. They need to learn the stories both old testament and new. They need to meet and know the people of their church, to be part of the church community.
I have a nephew whose parents have never taken him to church. His parents never had to argue about getting up on Sunday morning, about what is and is not acceptable to wear to church. They never had to hiss between their teeth dire warnings in an attempt to curb misbehavior during the service. They never had to tell him he could not spend the night at a friends house on Saturday night because there was church in the morning. Now he voices to his parents, in the presence of his grandparents, his disappointment that his parents never took him to church. The lesson here is that as a parent there is no winning the admiration of your teenagers in this regard; either they are mad because you made them go to church or they are mad because you didn’t make them go to church. If they are going to be mad either way then err on the side of them learning the golden rule and the Ten Commandments. Take them to church and Sunday school, start this advent and Christmas season. It’s a thankless job, but that’s part and parcel of being a parent.
Peace to all this season of preparation,
Michelle
Here at our church we now have Starbucks coffee, with all of the fixings - sugar, sweeteners, half and half, skim milk and flavorings. There are comfortable chairs in a lovely alcove just outside the children’s area where a parent can alight to relax or talk with other parents while their children are inside learning about the love of God. Soon we will have several Sunday papers to read as well.
Some children and teens come to Sunday school nearly every week. They don’t want to come every week, but their parents bring them anyway. It isn’t a child’s decision. It is a parent’s decision. Whether a child is raised attending church and Sunday school is the responsibility of the parents, like vitamins and potty training, not appreciated by the child at the time, but important none the less.
Parents should not abdicate their responsibility to whining, complaining children or sleepy, insolent teenagers. Teenagers are legendary for making bad choices and ill considered decisions. Don’t leave it up to them to go or not to go. Parents often make children do things they don’t want to do, learn to swim, bath, eat vegetables, do homework. Sunday school isn’t as bad as any of those things. Once they get there they will have fun most of the time and probably get some kind of unhealthy snack. They need to go to church and Sunday school. They need to learn the stories both old testament and new. They need to meet and know the people of their church, to be part of the church community.
I have a nephew whose parents have never taken him to church. His parents never had to argue about getting up on Sunday morning, about what is and is not acceptable to wear to church. They never had to hiss between their teeth dire warnings in an attempt to curb misbehavior during the service. They never had to tell him he could not spend the night at a friends house on Saturday night because there was church in the morning. Now he voices to his parents, in the presence of his grandparents, his disappointment that his parents never took him to church. The lesson here is that as a parent there is no winning the admiration of your teenagers in this regard; either they are mad because you made them go to church or they are mad because you didn’t make them go to church. If they are going to be mad either way then err on the side of them learning the golden rule and the Ten Commandments. Take them to church and Sunday school, start this advent and Christmas season. It’s a thankless job, but that’s part and parcel of being a parent.
Peace to all this season of preparation,
Michelle
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Change
We are about to embark on some big changes at our church, an old building torn down and the remaining building in some disarray from the construction process of a new building. Change is a strange dichotomy with children. They are constantly changing, yet when they see things around them change, it is disconcerting to them. As a parent and an adult, watching children change is shocking some how. I feel just the same, well a little more tired, but essentially the same and yet time must have moved on because the babies I remember being baptized, walked forward today for their first holy communion. How in the course of such a short time can that baby be old enough for first holy communion? How can, “Wow, you lost your first tooth” change to, “Wow, you received your first diploma” so fast?
That is what happens whether we like it or not, everything changes. It seems to be our nature to want everything around us to stay unchanged. I am reminded of the account of the transfiguration in Luke 9. The disciples response was to stay right there with Jesus, Moses and Elijah forever, not to change a thing. God didn’t allow it; they had to return to life and the changes that come with it.
Children sometimes become anxious when things that once were “always that way” are moved and shifted. They want the same routine, the same room, the same teacher, the same snack. We tend to think only the littlest ones need these routines, but our teens seem to need it more than any others. Perhaps it is because their personal lives are in a season of many changes, that they are particularly vulnerable to anxiety regarding change. While they feel the same on the inside, they are in the midst of a lot of changes on the outside of their lives. They are faced with changing schools every three or four years, driving, working, finding colleges and living away from the people they have always lived with, starting what they consider their real life. It’s a lot to juggle.
We need to be sensitive to leaving a few things anchored. We need to remind them as our church buildings change that a church is not a building, a church is the people who make up the community inside the building. We, the adults, are all still here in the building making the same snacks, playing the same games and praying the same prayers for them and for everyone. God’s love for them is unchanging. This is still our church on the inside, it’s just the outside that is changing. Assure them that during the beginning, middle and end of all changes God is with us, a steadfast presence.
That is what happens whether we like it or not, everything changes. It seems to be our nature to want everything around us to stay unchanged. I am reminded of the account of the transfiguration in Luke 9. The disciples response was to stay right there with Jesus, Moses and Elijah forever, not to change a thing. God didn’t allow it; they had to return to life and the changes that come with it.
Children sometimes become anxious when things that once were “always that way” are moved and shifted. They want the same routine, the same room, the same teacher, the same snack. We tend to think only the littlest ones need these routines, but our teens seem to need it more than any others. Perhaps it is because their personal lives are in a season of many changes, that they are particularly vulnerable to anxiety regarding change. While they feel the same on the inside, they are in the midst of a lot of changes on the outside of their lives. They are faced with changing schools every three or four years, driving, working, finding colleges and living away from the people they have always lived with, starting what they consider their real life. It’s a lot to juggle.
We need to be sensitive to leaving a few things anchored. We need to remind them as our church buildings change that a church is not a building, a church is the people who make up the community inside the building. We, the adults, are all still here in the building making the same snacks, playing the same games and praying the same prayers for them and for everyone. God’s love for them is unchanging. This is still our church on the inside, it’s just the outside that is changing. Assure them that during the beginning, middle and end of all changes God is with us, a steadfast presence.
Monday, September 06, 2010
Sunday School
As I cleaned out closets in preparation for the fumigation of the church, I happened upon bits and pieces of many of the lessons I have concocted over the past 3 years. There is the fruit of the spirit jigsaw puzzle, the body of Christ bingo, the services to others cootie catchers and the Noah’s ark matching game. I can’t help but wonder how much of it made any sense to the children. How much did they retain? Has all of this play dough and finger paint tethered any of the bibles stories into their hearts? Has any one of them been nicer to a strangers after reenacting the parable of the good Samaritan with stuffed animals and band aids? (Which, by the way, is not a good idea as the band aids do not come off that fake fur, ever.)
It’s hard to know if anything during the hour or so a week that children are at church makes much of an impact. This is not like a science fair experiment; we can’t control for variables. Overall, knowing what affects a child in a positive way is difficult to discern. There are some sweeping generalizations when it comes to forming children. Children who are read to every night usually do much better academically than those who are not. Children who get enough sleep and watch very little TV are in better physical and emotional shape than those children who stay up late watching TV. When it comes to the spiritual impact of making the Jordan River out of blue frosting, there is very little information and fewer conclusions.
The truth is that no one knows what coming to Sunday school does for a child. It doesn’t seem to hurt. I know that it is not the cure all for kids who have gone astray. The best a parent can hope for is that Sunday school is a supporting role in the process of raising a child. Sunday school will affirm what the children are already hearing at home. Parents are the key to the core spiritual growth of a child. Bringing a child to church regularly will, hopefully, result in him knowing a few bible stories and looking back on church as a safe and comforting place to be. In Sunday school we build on the teaching children hear at home; we are not a substitute for home. The difference is that we get to do it with lots of glitter and glue.
God’s peace,
Michelle
It’s hard to know if anything during the hour or so a week that children are at church makes much of an impact. This is not like a science fair experiment; we can’t control for variables. Overall, knowing what affects a child in a positive way is difficult to discern. There are some sweeping generalizations when it comes to forming children. Children who are read to every night usually do much better academically than those who are not. Children who get enough sleep and watch very little TV are in better physical and emotional shape than those children who stay up late watching TV. When it comes to the spiritual impact of making the Jordan River out of blue frosting, there is very little information and fewer conclusions.
The truth is that no one knows what coming to Sunday school does for a child. It doesn’t seem to hurt. I know that it is not the cure all for kids who have gone astray. The best a parent can hope for is that Sunday school is a supporting role in the process of raising a child. Sunday school will affirm what the children are already hearing at home. Parents are the key to the core spiritual growth of a child. Bringing a child to church regularly will, hopefully, result in him knowing a few bible stories and looking back on church as a safe and comforting place to be. In Sunday school we build on the teaching children hear at home; we are not a substitute for home. The difference is that we get to do it with lots of glitter and glue.
God’s peace,
Michelle
Monday, May 24, 2010
The Season of Pentecost
The season of Pentecost is the celebration of the beginning of the church as a body. In the second chapter of Acts they spoke in many different languages to further the kingdom of God. A very simple lesson for the church of today and for our children is that there are many ways to teach of the love of Christ and many ways to hear the love of Christ.
Within any group there are a diverse set of talents. Anyone who believes that their talent is superior is sorely mistaken. Some teach through words, some through service and all through the way we live our lives. We must teach our children that all talents are valuable within the church and life, that the church is not an institution of religion, but the people who come together for the glory of God. Too often we underestimate the need for compassion in favor of the more showy gifts.
Each child will have a unique offering to God and to the church. Some can speak publicly; some can sing; some are never in front of a crowd but serve with gracious compassion, some with gentle courteousness. Church is not a scheduled performance with the big acts getting more prominence. It is about building a family of God person by person, reaching each person and each child with the language that best suits them. Listen to the many voices, watch the many servants and admire the lives of those who model Christ. Share all of this with your children lest they be distracted by the showy parts. Day in and day out encourage your children to see, while reminding yourself, that each one of us is an instrument of the Holy Spirit as along as we make ourselves available to move forward for Christ.
Have an enriching Pentecost,
Michelle
Within any group there are a diverse set of talents. Anyone who believes that their talent is superior is sorely mistaken. Some teach through words, some through service and all through the way we live our lives. We must teach our children that all talents are valuable within the church and life, that the church is not an institution of religion, but the people who come together for the glory of God. Too often we underestimate the need for compassion in favor of the more showy gifts.
Each child will have a unique offering to God and to the church. Some can speak publicly; some can sing; some are never in front of a crowd but serve with gracious compassion, some with gentle courteousness. Church is not a scheduled performance with the big acts getting more prominence. It is about building a family of God person by person, reaching each person and each child with the language that best suits them. Listen to the many voices, watch the many servants and admire the lives of those who model Christ. Share all of this with your children lest they be distracted by the showy parts. Day in and day out encourage your children to see, while reminding yourself, that each one of us is an instrument of the Holy Spirit as along as we make ourselves available to move forward for Christ.
Have an enriching Pentecost,
Michelle
Saturday, April 03, 2010
Easter
The Easter egg hunt and children's party will begin in two hours. I have been here at the park since 6 a.m. to reserve the pavilions and tables. Claire and I arrived at the park in the darkness of early morning. We shuttled the first few loads of eggs, candy, balls and jump ropes to the tables in the dark. Within a few minutes there was a hint of light on the fog covering the soccer fields. When we turned around from filling the last few eggs with candy, the sky was streaked with pink and silver. Then, suddenly, it was daylight. The darkness seemed complete when we arrived and then it was gone and the day was completely here.
Easter comes to me this way as well. The somberness of Lent goes on and on. There is a hint of Easter at Palm Sunday, but there is a long week of obligations ahead. Then I am startled to find that Easter is here with the glory of a resurrected savior and the hope of new beginnings.
All of life changes just as fast as the church season and the breaking dawn. No day is just like the one before. The child who was a little afraid of going into the trees to hunt for the eggs several years ago, sits beside me in the first light this morning, a young woman who was up without complaint, in the five a.m. hour, dressed and loading the van to help. It is futile to grasp at the way things have always been done, even if that "always" was just last year or last month or last week. We can't stop the daylight from spreading across the sky. We can't stop the children from growing. We can't stop the movement of the Holy Spirit. We shouldn't try. The Lord knows what is best for us. We have to listen to his voice and move along that path. There is no standing still. Easter is about change and it is this change we should embrace.
Happy Easter Season,
Michelle
Easter comes to me this way as well. The somberness of Lent goes on and on. There is a hint of Easter at Palm Sunday, but there is a long week of obligations ahead. Then I am startled to find that Easter is here with the glory of a resurrected savior and the hope of new beginnings.
All of life changes just as fast as the church season and the breaking dawn. No day is just like the one before. The child who was a little afraid of going into the trees to hunt for the eggs several years ago, sits beside me in the first light this morning, a young woman who was up without complaint, in the five a.m. hour, dressed and loading the van to help. It is futile to grasp at the way things have always been done, even if that "always" was just last year or last month or last week. We can't stop the daylight from spreading across the sky. We can't stop the children from growing. We can't stop the movement of the Holy Spirit. We shouldn't try. The Lord knows what is best for us. We have to listen to his voice and move along that path. There is no standing still. Easter is about change and it is this change we should embrace.
Happy Easter Season,
Michelle
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Season of Lent
Today is the first day of Lent, a season of repentance and self-reflection. I recently read an article entitled something like "Learning Lesson from Those You Hate." That is not actually the title, but it was along those lines. The truth is, I scanned it more than read it. I was busy and distracted and people were bothering me. The gist of the article was that those everyday interruptions that cause you to become irritated, the people who pull in front of you in traffic and then drive slowly, the people who leave a message saying they called, but not a clue about why they called, the newspaper delivery person who every, single day throws the newspaper into the shrubs requiring a stick to retrieve it, from each of these we can learn about ourselves. Once we have learned about ourselves, we can improve ourselves. Improving not for the betterment of ourselves, but for the betterment of the kingdom of God, so that we can better do the work we were sent to do.
When faced with these irritants delivered by others, it is our first reaction to bolster our own position. To place the blame for our anger, frustration or boredom squarely on the shoulders of that other guy, the one that is the cause. I didn't throw that newspaper, after all. To learn from my reactions, I think I have to ask myself why am I letting this upset me. We are exhorted by scripture over and over to be at peace, to not become angry, and yet I do. The newspaper delivery person is long gone. Muttering under my breath is not going to benefit him or her or me so why am I doing it? What sin in me, causes me to not look charitable toward this person? Is there some part of me I see in this person that causes me to overreact, to cover my tracks? There is nothing so irritating as to see our own faults in others. Often the cause of our reaction is right there under the surface, we need only ask, "Why am I doing this?" or,"Lord, do you know why I am doing this?"
So why does the newspaper in the bushes bug me so much? What pops to mind is that I wish he or she would be more focused on putting it in the right place so I wouldn't have to go on a search and rescue mission each morning. I would call the paper right now and complain, but I'm not sure where I put my cell phone. Irony or insight? It couldn't be that obvious, could it?
It is easiest to disregard that first thing that pops into your mind as ridiculous, because it is so much more satisfying to blame the other person and relish our self-righteous anger. I am fairly sure that is not what we should do when a still, small voice whispers through our heads and hearts. To have the peace that passes understanding we need to seek the help of God in taking each occasion to exam our lives and take full responsibility for our actions and reactions. Shifting the blame will not lead us down the path of righteousness. As a Lenten goal, self examination of daily irritations is harder than giving up candy. I don't relish the idea of having my shortcomings pointed out by God or anyone else. It is one of the steps in the path forward. No one promised an easy Lent.
May your days increase in peacefulness,
Michelle
When faced with these irritants delivered by others, it is our first reaction to bolster our own position. To place the blame for our anger, frustration or boredom squarely on the shoulders of that other guy, the one that is the cause. I didn't throw that newspaper, after all. To learn from my reactions, I think I have to ask myself why am I letting this upset me. We are exhorted by scripture over and over to be at peace, to not become angry, and yet I do. The newspaper delivery person is long gone. Muttering under my breath is not going to benefit him or her or me so why am I doing it? What sin in me, causes me to not look charitable toward this person? Is there some part of me I see in this person that causes me to overreact, to cover my tracks? There is nothing so irritating as to see our own faults in others. Often the cause of our reaction is right there under the surface, we need only ask, "Why am I doing this?" or,"Lord, do you know why I am doing this?"
So why does the newspaper in the bushes bug me so much? What pops to mind is that I wish he or she would be more focused on putting it in the right place so I wouldn't have to go on a search and rescue mission each morning. I would call the paper right now and complain, but I'm not sure where I put my cell phone. Irony or insight? It couldn't be that obvious, could it?
It is easiest to disregard that first thing that pops into your mind as ridiculous, because it is so much more satisfying to blame the other person and relish our self-righteous anger. I am fairly sure that is not what we should do when a still, small voice whispers through our heads and hearts. To have the peace that passes understanding we need to seek the help of God in taking each occasion to exam our lives and take full responsibility for our actions and reactions. Shifting the blame will not lead us down the path of righteousness. As a Lenten goal, self examination of daily irritations is harder than giving up candy. I don't relish the idea of having my shortcomings pointed out by God or anyone else. It is one of the steps in the path forward. No one promised an easy Lent.
May your days increase in peacefulness,
Michelle
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Epiphany
By the time Epiphany arrives the three wise men in my nativity set have marched themselves right into their Rubbermaid bin and away to storage. Despite their long journey ending in the attic, I have not forgotten the kings and on the 6th of January I think of the Feast of Epiphany with fondness.
When I was a very little girl the ladies of our church, St. Gabriel’s, held an Epiphany Tea. It was a mother daughter affair with the silver and the crystal and the fancy little sugar cubes. When the ornate cake was cut, all of the daughters hoped to get a piece with a gift inside. Baked within the cake were small ornaments. Each had a special duty attached. Whoever found the ring in their cake was responsible for the decorations the next year. If you found the baby Jesus, you were in charge of procuring the cake. There were several more ornaments to be found each with a responsibility for the next year’s tea.
As children, we daughters wanted to find an ornament, a gift. Mothers dreaded finding a gift. They appreciated the responsibilities attached to the gift. As a seven year old it was just a pretty novelty. As a mom it was one more thing to do just after Christmas. Despite their feigned protests when a daughter wanted a second piece of cake, it seems that the mothers good naturedly accepted that the result of coming to the tea might be added responsibilities the next year.
The best gifts come with the most responsibilities. A good marriage is a gift. Children are a gift. Neither come without responsibilities. The gift of children comes with hard choices and sacrificial love. Seldom do children appreciate the, often unpopular, decisions parents make on their behalf. In all relationships worth having, the good is paired with the difficult. We grit our teeth and do what needs to be done. Sometimes the reward is immediately evident. Sometimes it is a matter of faith. We continue with difficulty because, paradoxically, in the difficult often the most joy is found. It’s a mystery in the category with the last being first, and it being better to give than to receive; a mystery as strange as three kings following a star to worshiping a child of humble birth.
Happy Epiphany,
Michelle
When I was a very little girl the ladies of our church, St. Gabriel’s, held an Epiphany Tea. It was a mother daughter affair with the silver and the crystal and the fancy little sugar cubes. When the ornate cake was cut, all of the daughters hoped to get a piece with a gift inside. Baked within the cake were small ornaments. Each had a special duty attached. Whoever found the ring in their cake was responsible for the decorations the next year. If you found the baby Jesus, you were in charge of procuring the cake. There were several more ornaments to be found each with a responsibility for the next year’s tea.
As children, we daughters wanted to find an ornament, a gift. Mothers dreaded finding a gift. They appreciated the responsibilities attached to the gift. As a seven year old it was just a pretty novelty. As a mom it was one more thing to do just after Christmas. Despite their feigned protests when a daughter wanted a second piece of cake, it seems that the mothers good naturedly accepted that the result of coming to the tea might be added responsibilities the next year.
The best gifts come with the most responsibilities. A good marriage is a gift. Children are a gift. Neither come without responsibilities. The gift of children comes with hard choices and sacrificial love. Seldom do children appreciate the, often unpopular, decisions parents make on their behalf. In all relationships worth having, the good is paired with the difficult. We grit our teeth and do what needs to be done. Sometimes the reward is immediately evident. Sometimes it is a matter of faith. We continue with difficulty because, paradoxically, in the difficult often the most joy is found. It’s a mystery in the category with the last being first, and it being better to give than to receive; a mystery as strange as three kings following a star to worshiping a child of humble birth.
Happy Epiphany,
Michelle
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)