Guiding Principles

   When my children where very young I was intently focused on raising them. My goal was to mold polite, kind, good people who could take care of themselves. From that starting point, I would determine what they could and couldn't do, what kind of behavior was ok and what was not ok, what skills they needed to acquire. They were not always happy about my decisions. Their comfort was not necessarily a determining factor.

   Often they had to do things they did not want to do, clean the bathroom, things they were afraid to do, go into a store and make a purchase on their own, things they were embarrassed to do, apologize to a teacher face to face. Having an objective in mind, made it clearer what needed to be done, but not easier. I often thought to myself, " Do I want my son to grow up to be someone who can't clean his own apartment?" No, I do not, so it is my job to teach him how and when to clean house.  " Do I want a daughter who demurs in the face of an uncomfortable  situation?"  No, I do not, so it is my job to coach her on how to respectfully confront a wrong and ask for change. The list goes on and on. That is what makes being a parent so exhausting. Making the children you love do things they don't want to do is not fun.

   As Christians, we too have a clear goal straight from the mouth of Jesus. When asked in Mark 12 what was the most important commandment, Jesus replied that it was to love the Lord your God with your whole heart, soul and mind and that the second commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself. Moving through our lives each decision, each action, should be considered in the light of these two goals. Does this move me towards loving God and is this loving towards my neighbor? It is easy to get distracted and consider many, many other factors. Is this fair? Is this comfortable for me?  Is this financially advantageous? No matter the answer to this type of question, the objective of loving God and loving our neighbors must be paramount in determining our words and actions. And like making the decisions of a parent, these decisions often lead to hard work, facing our fears and humility but the reward is well worth the effort.