Humility is Hard

Teaching children humility is possibly the trickiest part of raising a child in the likeness of Christ. This week being Holy Week we are barraged by many images of a humble Christ. He is degraded, mocked left to die by those who had followed, benefited from and sworn allegiance to him. In the depths of this his sacrifice is real and love continuous. He is not found reminding the disciples of his miracles he is not found reminding the people of the feeding of their bodies and souls on the edge of the Sea of Galilee instead he humbly takes on the ultimate sacrifice without speeches or fanfare. Only a few are left at his feet when on Good Friday he takes his last breath on the cross. That is humility.

While many of the virtues we, as Christians, try to instill in our children have a common touchstone with the virtues taught by every good kindergarten teacher, humility is different. Those who choose to be outside the faith of Christ teach their children not to steal, not to lie, not to hurt other people, just as we do. Humility does not fall into that same category, at least not in America. Humility is vastly different.

In America, and perhaps everywhere, self promotion is the key. Minimize your faults and maximize your accomplishments. There is an old Country and Western song with the refrain, “It's hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way.” It makes me laugh when I think of it, but it's not so funny when you see such arrogance at work. It's everywhere. It's at home, it's at school and it's in the church. Who knows the most, who does the most, who has the most, who works hardest or longest or says “yes” the most often. None of these things are the down fall of humility. It's good to be good at something. It's the self-congratulatory stance, making sure someone knows “inadvertently” or blatantly of our virtuous acts, that undercuts humility. The problem is not in working hard, I think hard work is good for everyone. The problem is dwelling on the work and wallowing in the praise, all the while forgetting our sins, forgetting the many gifts we have been given quite undeservedly.

No matter how great you are, you pale in comparison to Christ. No matter how great you are, if you focus on your abilities and accomplishments you are directing the praise to yourself and not to Christ. Further, you are failing to serve others in humility as Christ directs. If you are busy thinking of your greatness, you might just pass the man on the road to Jericho and fail to stop and help.

Lecturing children on humility won't work. Modeling humility is the only chance. Teaching children that they are not the only people in the universe, that their feelings are not the only feelings that count, that their moment to moment comfort is not the focus, teaching them to serve others without the need for a payback or notice or thanks, that is a start. If we look very hard and I mean very hard, we as parents can find some examples of people who work hard and don't demand admiration or thanks or even notice. Humility goes hand in hand with thankfulness, thankfulness for the work, care and love of others. Thankfulness for the many gifts given to us will further move us on the path of humility. If we can open our eyes and and then lead our children to open their eyes to the few remaining humble servants in our world, we can set them on their way. They aren't going to learn it by watching TV, or hanging out with their friends or in school. It is up to us. Talk about it. Point it out when you see it. Model it. Pray for it.

Have happy and humble Easter,
Michelle