Better Parenting in 2008

Changing old habits is hard. I mean really hard. I have an irritating habit of kicking my shoes off as soon as my backside hits a horizontal surface and then completely forgetting that I did it. As you can well imagine the result is shoes under the coffee table, shoes under the dinning room table, shoes in the kitchen nook , shoes scattered all over the bedroom, under my side of the bed, under his side of the bed, at the foot of the bed, under the chair. You get the picture. It irritates me so I know it drives the rest of my family nuts. They persevere. I can’t seem to change this bad habit because I am not even conscious of the act even as I do it. It’s as if the shoes just skipped off my feet of their own volition. How can I change that?

Parenting habits seem to suffer the same problem. I do some things and I am not even aware that I’m doing them. The insidious part of parenting is that children do as you do not as you say. No matter how many times you tell them otherwise. And in that way my bad habits replicate into their bad habits. When I become frustrated and work myself into a snit, I am teaching them to scrunch up their faces and snarl when they get frustrated. When I put off making the final pageant costumes until 10 pm the night before the pageant they learn to scramble around the night before a project is due trying to find glue sticks and teal construction paper.

To be a better parent in 2008 means I will need to be a better person in 2008. This sounds terrible. I want to concentrate on them, the kids. It is so easy to see just what they need to do to be happier and more successful and more peaceful. I don’t want that reflected back on me. The harsh truth is that if I don’t want my children to make the mistakes I make then I need to stop making those mistakes. Easier said than done. Not something I can do of my own strength. Seeking strength through quiet time with God, talking time with friends and honest self examination is the path to correcting my errors, errors in the things I do and say and think. (Don’t think they don’t know the gist of what you are thinking, they do.)

If ever I need reminding that my bad habits are contagious I need look no further than the floor under the coffee table, and the dinning room table and the kitchen nook. There I will find not only my size 9 pumps and running shoes but little white sandals and little black patent church shoes. It is as if my big shoes invited some little girl shoes in for a chat. Such a visual reminded that my daughter will do what I do no matter how many times I say, at the height of hypocrisy, “If you put your shoes away you will always know where to find them.”

So maybe we will work on shoes this month. And maybe I can remember that I am a walking object lesson whether I like it or not. To improve my child requires only that I improve myself. Once again I am reminded that parenting is not for the faint of heart.

Blessings,
Michelle