Maps

I love maps. I can't explain why I love maps, but I do. Whenever we are traveling I pick up a free map whereever I can. I like maps of theme parks and tourist maps of towns even though they are not drawn to scale and therefor not very helpful. I like state maps even though I know I will actually use my navigating device in my phone.

My son loves maps more than I do. On the wall of his college dorm is a specialized map. It is of the world, but the perspective is inverted, that is, the South Pole is at the top of the map and the North pole is at the bottom. There is no up or down in space so there is no reason not to look at the world this way, but it is a little jarring at first glance. It is not immediately recognizable. Iceland and Canada look too large to me; Florida looks too small. Looking at the map from a different perspective reveals things that were overlooked in the past.

It is easy to see people in only the one way we have always seen them too. Like the map of the world, we feel like we know them so well we don't need to pay close attention. Children have talents and abilities we overlook when we look from the same place over and over. Parents are often surprised when I, as the children and youth minister, report that their children where very helpful or very compassionate during class. That isn't how they see their child at home. (Other parents would be surprised if I told them that the child they report as nearly perfect is actually the most disruptive or disrespectful, but I generally don't bother to report poor behavior). As parents it is hard to see your child as a person in a group, often because there is no opportunity, we spend our time with our children in a small family group or one on one. It is hard to see children as spiritual beings. Most conversations center around what is for lunch and day to day drama. 

By seeing our children in only one way we may be missing some big talent (or flaw) in our children; we might be really misjudging the size of Iceland. To better guide our children we should try to see them from a new perspective. Volunteer in your child's class or (and this is a shameless plug) Sunday School class and hang back at the edges and watch your child interact with peers without your help. If you're feeling brave, ask a trusted teacher or friend how they see your child right now at this age without taking into consideration how they were last year or the year before.

Children change quickly and sometimes we miss what is happening and then our perspective is off and we don't see what we need to see. We need to see our children as clearly as possible because we, as parents, have been given the blessing and the responsibility of raising them to be good and Godly people.

The End of Summer

   As summer comes to an end I find myself rushing to do the things I was sure I wold get to during the slower days of June and July. I intended to clean out all of the old clothes and shoes I don't need anymore. I was sure I would bake cookies and can tomatoes. I resolved to finally straighten up the old planters and trowels that have accumulated on the side of the house. Somehow the summer slipped away, the clothes are still crammed in the closets, we are without cookies or canned tomatoes, the side of the house is still as cluttered as it was last summer. Other good things were accomplished during the summer, but many small and tedious chores were left for another time.
   The well intended yet unfullfilled goals of summer echo the well intended yet unfiulfilled goals of many relationships. It is easy to intend to listen to our spouse without interrupting, to spend more individual time with the children, to call our brothers and sisters just to check in. It is very difficult to carve out the time from our schedules and to break into our routines in order to accomplish our goals.
   Just as summer ticks by so do the years. As my own children turn into adults I am moved by a new urgency to disrupt my set schedule to find the time to be with them. In years to come I may mildly regret the mess in the side yard, but I will look back at this summer and not regret laughing over a long lunch with my family or watching movies with a big bowl of popcorn between us. God has blessed us with relationships and families. Those relationships deserve our time and energy more than any overstuffed sock drawer. Let summer chores slip away the only important part of the chore chart is to love and nurture our relationships.