The Eternal Quest

Our family turned a corner this year. We bought a television. After eighteen and half years of marriage, my husband and I made our first television purchase. Don't get me wrong, we've owned televisions, but they were always hand me down TV's. Every few years, friends or family members, who thought that an out dated television was better than no television, would show up with a freebie TV for us. We bought a DVD player and signed up for Netflix. We then, on occasion, watched a movie. We even went so far as to buy an antenna resulting in, count them, five channels. Our children were quick to remind us that two of those five channels were public television, so they barely even counted as television. To add to this change, for the first time ever we now have cable. Now our world is open to 7 million channels or something like that. It's dizzying.

Friends, who have known us for years and years, mock our general ineptitude with a remote control. Last night, on New Year's Eve, we missed the ball dropping in Times' Square because I couldn't figure out how to get out of DVD mode and into cable TV mode swiftly enough. I am stunned at how irritating commercial interruptions are, not to mention, how long they are. I've started having a book handy, so I can read during the 5 and 7 minute commercial breaks. All of the great riches of entertainment that I secretly believed I was missing all those years seem to not really exist. I mean I have 7 billion channels and more often than not there is nothing I want to see. I have heard other people say this, of course, but I didn't believe them.

Isn't that just like me. I think I know what I want, but, it turns out, that wasn't really what I wanted at all. It seems to be engineered into us, to want what we don't have, to strive for what we don't need and when we attain that thing, to be surprised that it doesn't fill the need we feel we have. Philosophers and theologians have decried for centuries that the need in each of us can be filled with an honest connection with the creator of all things, but, being who we are, we have to try a few other things first . We have to be certain those easier things wont work as well at filling the need within our souls. At last, we turn from the material to the eternal, from the easy path to the more difficult path. A path that is a long journey rather than a quick fix.

So this new year, I will continue to try to travel the road less traveled. I will still take a few detours here and there; I know that much about myself. One of them will most certainly be staring at a television with an amazingly clear picture and 7 trillion channels. You never know something great might just come on, but when it doesn't perhaps I will remember where I should be looking.

Peace in the New Year,

Michelle

A Quieter Christmas?

Slowing down is not heralded in our society. I suppose there are places, somewhere in the world, where being quiet and calm is greeted with approval, but I haven't lived in that world. As parents, we rush. We rush ourselves and our children; we rush to work and school and ballet and baseball and all of the places in between. Rushing leads to short tempers, and short tempers lead to harsh words and then someone ends up crying. The irony of screeching at my children, that if they don't hurry up we will be late to church, has not escaped me. I am taking them to church to learn to be charitable, loving, kind and patient, but on the way I am being impatient, wrathful and unkind. Slowing down is the answer, but the path to slowing down is difficult.

To slow down we have to let things go, a whole lot of things. To slow down to a child's pace there needs to be extra time at every juncture. There are some events we can't orchestrate, but there are many we can. The path to slowing down starts with saying,"No." Saying, "no" to things to which we have never considered saying, "no".

Christmas time is the worst time of year for the problems of the big rush. The kids are involved in everything. There are Christmas parties, pageants, outings; the gifts need to be purchased and wrapped and mailed and there are all of the traditions that have to be upheld. Does it all need doing? It doesn't, it really, really doesn't, despite what the TV and your family and the church and school all say. All of that business, no matter how noble, will not bring your child closer to Christ.

If you say no to most of these things someone, somewhere is going to be disappointed in you. Someone, somewhere, is going to be shocked that you are not doing your part for the school or the church or the family. If you say no and instead opt to stay at home with just your immediate family and cut out snowflakes or make a Christmas red and green paper chain for the tree without rushing, or sit at the piano singing Christmas carols off key, it will be scandalous.

I say this at my own peril. As the Children and Youth Minister, I rely on volunteers for everything from a child to light the Advent candles to all the many duties of the pageant. I know that the pull to do everything at Christmas is strong, so I'm not really worried that the programs are going to collapse. If every parent pulled out and said that they needed to stay at home and teach their children, in a real and hands on way, the love of Christ, how could I complain. I wouldn't or at least I would try not to complain.

Even if you have to say no to the church (though consider saying no to someone else as well), I encourage every family to set aside one night a week each and every week between now and Christmas to be with your children, without distraction. To slowly be in their presence, to listen to their stories, (even those long, long stories with no point), to share your stories with them and to teach them about Christ would be the best gift you can give. Grandma and every one else may complain, but being a good parent is seldom easy or popular.

Have blessed and peaceful Christmas,

Michelle