Living a life of grace is easy to talk about, difficult to do. Finding a kernel of love for the people who have wronged me is very, very difficult. This week someone broke into my home and stole my son’s computer. This week a former employee accused me of being shortsighted and lacking compassion. This week I was wrongly accused of something and there was no means of redress. It is hard to love these people. The ones who steal my reputation and my peace of mind and my stuff.
Christians are to be different from the world around us. That means that, though everyone assures me that I have every right to wish vengeance on these people, I should not. I have prayed for each one of these people. I have asked for peace in my thoughts and actions in regards to these people.
I don’t feel like loving them. Yet I don’t hate them. I think that is a step along Christ’s path towards graciousness. I feel sad that these things happened. I often feel frustrated that I have no defensive action that I can take. I can’t defend my son’s feelings or his computer evidently. I can’t defend my pride. I can’t defend my actions. I just have to take it on the chin. Maybe that is part of turning the other cheek. Loving the other first. Forestalling or completely eliminating the words or actions that are for my benefit only.
This type of love is not love that lets others “get away with” their misdeeds. While the corrective steps have to be taken sometimes by me sometimes by others, the difference is the motivating force behind those steps. Burglars can not go on burglarizing. If found, there will be consequences which I will support. Employees have to be let go sometimes. Responsible adults have to take responsible actions. With grace involved these actions can be taken without hatefulness, vindictiveness or even anger.
I am reminded of a referee at a basketball games. He just calls the fouls when he sees them. The game moves on. Chaos is held at bay. Through it all he stays calm because he doesn’t have his emotions tied up in the outcome. Of course the analogy breaks down a bit because Christ calls us to love those who commit a foul against us. The referee is aloof because he doesn’t care one way or the other, but we are to actively care for these people as if they are a daughter or son of God, holy creation of God the Father. Tough stuff to swallow sometimes.
I believe that Christianity is a path sometimes it is pretty easy sometimes it is pretty hard. With each incidence this week I savored a minute, sometimes a good deal more than a minute, of righteous indignation, but with prayer and silence I was able to let that fervor go. I was left feeling a little sad and in some cases steeling myself for the consequences that needed to be delivered yet buoyed by the peace that does indeed pass understanding.
Each day is a new step along the path and sometimes I’ll get it right and many times I will get it all very wrong but I will keep trying.
I wish you grace and peace in the new year.
Michelle
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
"To Do" at Christmas
What is it about the holidays that make us over commit? The idea is to make everything wonderful, the house, the tree, the gifts, the meals, the caroling and on and on it goes. Suddenly it is December 15 and we are exhausted with what we have done and with what we have yet to do.
What does Jesus want from us? I think that is the question we need to ask; the one truly significant question. Martha Stewart wants us to make a centerpiece dessert of cream puffs with a drizzled topping simulating icicles. The school band wants us to deliver 200 goody bags with some sweets but not too many. The kids want a gingerbread house. Spouses just want a night out together.
Jesus wants to reconcile man to God. If that was his purpose then when we celebrate his arrival shouldn’t we be promoting His agenda, reconciling man to God? Now that is a huge one to put on the “to do” list. Gifts for the teachers, Home Depot for Daddy, visit the nursing home, donate to the needy and reconcile man to God. I don’t feel less overwhelmed with that added to the list.
That is the point of course. Reconciling man to God is not one more thing to add to the list. It is the list. Each item on the “to do” list should be held up and compared to this ideal. Is buying a new sliding, compound, miter saw for my husband a step in the path to reconciling man to God? Maybe, if done with a charitable heart and as a symbol of a love so deep I’ll give him the tools to tear out the bathroom, because that’s how God made him. How about hanging all those Christmas lights? Reconciliation between the creator and the created? For me, that one is harder to figure out. How does that bring anyone closer to God, closer to divorce maybe, but closer to God? Of course, each one of us must discern what activity speaks to our soul; which move us and our families closer to God.
Over the years I have simplified Christmas in my house. I don’t send Christmas cards. My theory on decoration is “less is more”. Christmas baking is at the whim of what anyone wants at any given time. Gifts for music teachers and Sunday school teachers and school teachers have become what I can find at the Church bookstore or a gift card. I’ve stopped trying so hard to make it perfect. Friends and acquaintances sometimes howl that those things must be done. I try to remember that Jesus didn’t live his life according to the rules of the community. He ate with lepers so I can probably skip the Christmas cards.
For the last two years I have declined all Christmas parties that did not include the whole family. Even the ones that everyone told me were a must. My reasoning is that if the “to do” list of Christmas is really to bring mankind into a closer relationship with God then the first place for me to start is with my children, the two little parts of mankind God gave me to raise for these few years. Christmas parties will always be there, the children will not. Instead of attending another party to benefit the needy I tend to my own children’s needs. I teach them about Christ through loving them fully, through spending time with them. Sometimes loving the children in an unhurried, unharried way is a circular path right back to traditional Christmas activities. Sometimes we bake cookies, sometimes we decorate the tree, sometimes we just roast marshmallows, even if it means turning the air conditioning down low enough to justify a fire. I make my donations to the needy and Toys for Tots and the food pantry but I don’t need to go to a party to do it.
This year the kids are older and have some activities they want to do on their own so I may go to a party or two. They want to skip the parade but go ice skating. Nothing is written in stone. A more relaxed Christmas where we try to love as Christ loved is the goal and in the end is the gift we all want and need.
Blessings,
Michelle
What does Jesus want from us? I think that is the question we need to ask; the one truly significant question. Martha Stewart wants us to make a centerpiece dessert of cream puffs with a drizzled topping simulating icicles. The school band wants us to deliver 200 goody bags with some sweets but not too many. The kids want a gingerbread house. Spouses just want a night out together.
Jesus wants to reconcile man to God. If that was his purpose then when we celebrate his arrival shouldn’t we be promoting His agenda, reconciling man to God? Now that is a huge one to put on the “to do” list. Gifts for the teachers, Home Depot for Daddy, visit the nursing home, donate to the needy and reconcile man to God. I don’t feel less overwhelmed with that added to the list.
That is the point of course. Reconciling man to God is not one more thing to add to the list. It is the list. Each item on the “to do” list should be held up and compared to this ideal. Is buying a new sliding, compound, miter saw for my husband a step in the path to reconciling man to God? Maybe, if done with a charitable heart and as a symbol of a love so deep I’ll give him the tools to tear out the bathroom, because that’s how God made him. How about hanging all those Christmas lights? Reconciliation between the creator and the created? For me, that one is harder to figure out. How does that bring anyone closer to God, closer to divorce maybe, but closer to God? Of course, each one of us must discern what activity speaks to our soul; which move us and our families closer to God.
Over the years I have simplified Christmas in my house. I don’t send Christmas cards. My theory on decoration is “less is more”. Christmas baking is at the whim of what anyone wants at any given time. Gifts for music teachers and Sunday school teachers and school teachers have become what I can find at the Church bookstore or a gift card. I’ve stopped trying so hard to make it perfect. Friends and acquaintances sometimes howl that those things must be done. I try to remember that Jesus didn’t live his life according to the rules of the community. He ate with lepers so I can probably skip the Christmas cards.
For the last two years I have declined all Christmas parties that did not include the whole family. Even the ones that everyone told me were a must. My reasoning is that if the “to do” list of Christmas is really to bring mankind into a closer relationship with God then the first place for me to start is with my children, the two little parts of mankind God gave me to raise for these few years. Christmas parties will always be there, the children will not. Instead of attending another party to benefit the needy I tend to my own children’s needs. I teach them about Christ through loving them fully, through spending time with them. Sometimes loving the children in an unhurried, unharried way is a circular path right back to traditional Christmas activities. Sometimes we bake cookies, sometimes we decorate the tree, sometimes we just roast marshmallows, even if it means turning the air conditioning down low enough to justify a fire. I make my donations to the needy and Toys for Tots and the food pantry but I don’t need to go to a party to do it.
This year the kids are older and have some activities they want to do on their own so I may go to a party or two. They want to skip the parade but go ice skating. Nothing is written in stone. A more relaxed Christmas where we try to love as Christ loved is the goal and in the end is the gift we all want and need.
Blessings,
Michelle
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)